My colleague and master teacher here
at the Friedman Commission for Jewish Education, Lynne Lieberman, recently
taught a class at the Mandel JCC entitled, “Is Your Family a Mixed
Bag?.” It was a weekly course to learn more and share experiences about
families with members of different faiths and their connection to Judaism. The
course was intended for anyone and everyone who was interested. Well, that’s
just about all of us, right? I know that certainly includes me, and I don’t
think I know of any of my friends who don’t
fall under this category either. SO, one would think that Lynne’s class would
be packed, but sadly, it was not. Perhaps it wasn’t being offered on a convenient
day/time or maybe because people didn’t hear about it or people weren’t even
looking for it (**sigh**).
This got me to thinking about these
“mixed bags” that we all have and the issues, conversations and conflict that
arise. Do you find yourself asking: Who do we invite to our family Seder? Can I
invite my non-Jewish relative for an honor at my child’s baby naming or Bar
Mitzvah? At the end of each calendar year, does your family discuss the “December
Dilemma”?
{read this great article that took that discussion a bit further}
{read this great article that took that discussion a bit further}
If we are all asking ourselves
these questions, where are we getting the answers? If not at a class like the
one Lynne was leading, then where? Are you talking to your friends? Other
family members? Your clergy? Anyone? Who do YOU turn to when you have
interfaith issues, questions, concerns or want to explore one faith or another? Do you look online for answers? I wonder if our local parents of different faiths feel comfortable going
together to temple or to church? Do local families know that many of our local
rabbis are open to discussing Judaism with non-Jews, offering classes and even
performing conversions? Are any of the wonderful online resources used at all?
In the work I do every day with our
Jewish community partners (temples, Jewish organizations, JCC, etc.) planning
family engagement opportunities, I can’t tell you how many times the
conversation turns into a discussion about how we can make whatever family
program, service or event we are planning inclusive for everyone. The
professionals and board members understand that nowadays every family is a
mixed bag. The real dilemma is how do we
make the two meet? How do we get our
“mixed bag” families involved and engaged in our Jewish community that
desperately wants to include them?
This is really tough, and there may
not be one clear cut answer. It seems to me that we may need to call in a
Matchmaker to make this “shidduch”! Or, maybe it’s still an evolving relationship that will take more time. I am
not sure.
For now, I am encouraged to see
that local families are starting to recognize and identify themselves as real “mixed
bags” and are interested in exploring what that means and how they can fit into
our Jewish community. I am proud to work with others at the Friedman CJE like Lynne who are so knowledgeable
about not only Judaism but other faiths and how they intermingle and relate to
each other. I am blessed to have a job here
where I get to help people every day connect to our Jewish community and to
find something that speaks to them and helps their families grow no matter what
kind of bag they own.
