Hanukkah Appreciation

I am on Hanukkah overload and the first candle is not even lit yet! There are so many Hanukkah happenings to chose from.......decisions, decisions. This has actually reminded me of a couple of conversations I have had with PJ Library parnets who, with their families, have moved away from South Florida. They call me and tell me how "different" Jewish life is in other parts of country like Tennessee or South Carolina. They are finding themselves actively seeking out Jewish things to do with their kids and places where they can connect with other Jewish families. They report to me how much they took for granted when they lived here in Palm Beach, often even skipping events because it took a little effort.

One mom arrived in her new city to find the local PJ Library community there was "on hold" due to lack of funding. So, the precious books her kids had been getting for almost a year (thru PJ Palm beach) wouldn't be coming to their new address. Now, here's a miracle: instead of getting angry or upset, she decided to be part of the drive to help get the program funded in her new city. She used her experience as a PJ mom to speak to others about what the program can do for a child and for a family.

All I am saying is, that I am beginning to see how easy it can be take things for granted when you live in such a vibrant Jewish community. Yes, there are a dozen places to go to see a Hanukkiah be lit. Yes, there are even more places to go to eat delicious latkes and spin the dreidel. And this Hanukkah, I will proudly light my menorah and take FULL advantage of all the Hanukkah events/dinners/gatherings I can. I hope to see lots of friends there. For events listing, see the JFL calendar at http://www.cjepb.org/.

Latke recipes for you to try: http://allrecipes.com/recipes/holidays-and-events/hanukkah/latkes/main.aspx

To make your OWn applesauce: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/applesauce-recipe/index.html

Just Say Shal-oooohhhm!

I am in the final stretch of preparations for our four sessions of the Shabbat Ima workshops. So basically, I have been doing nothing but thinking about Shabbat for the past few weeks. I've been scanning the survey results from moms telling me what they want to learn about Shabbat, how they want their family experience to be and also their absolute fears about how to make this happen.

This has really challenged me to step outside my box and to see Shabbat from a different perspective. Throwing together a Shabbat experience for my family (no matter how brief) may come easy for me, but may be completely daunting for others. So, my challenge has been, how do I create a workshop that is non-threatening, informative and fun for women at all different levels of comfort? How do I bring to the room the excitement I feel about Shabbat and what it can do for a family? How do I empower these women to take home just ONE new idea and try it out? After much thougth and planning, I think I have found the way, I am excited about meeting these fabulous women who have already registered for a workshop. Who knows? maybe I'll even make some new friends along the way........ Have YOU signed up yet? Call today at me 209.2608.

Enjoyable High Holiday Services for Your Family

An interesting fax came across my desk this week (yes, some people still do fax things). In it was a short blurb, "How To Make Your Synagogue Experience More Meaningful". It listed some good ideas:

1. If a particular sentence or paragraph touches you--linger a while. Allow the words to touch you.

2. Five minutes of prayer said with feeling understanding and personal connection to the words and their significance means far more than five hours of lip service.

3. As you sit in your synagogue on the High Holidays, you are joined by millions of Jews all over the world.

These were some good ideas, but they got me thinking about how I (really, we, my husband does play a large role in this) make our synagogue experience meaningful for us and for our chidren.

Here's some of what we do:

1. We begin talking about each holiday BEFORE it happens. We do this mostly with great Jewish story books at bedtime (I have a connection). We listen to holiday kids music (there are a lot of great ones out there, even on YouTube). If they bring home a holiday related craft project or drawing from school, we hang it up as decoration on the refirgerator or even laminate it as a placemat to use at all meals. We talk about listening to the shofar blown during the service and what other things could happen.

2. We sign up for everyone to attend a serice that is age appropiate for them. For us, we take advantage of childcare at temple during the adult services and then attend the family service all together (including the grandparents!) in the afternoons. When the kids were younger, we went to the tot program together. Pictured above is my daughter practicing blowing shofar on the bimah. Some temples have childrens services that invite the kids up to particiapte. Take advantage of this opportunitites, it gets them excited. And as my rabbi always says, a good 15 minute temple experience for your child is better than an hour of you hushing them and making them sit down.

3. On the way home from synagogue and at the table for lunch, we discuss what happened and the themes in the service. We ask them: What did you pray for during the silent meditation? Why do you think we went outside and tossed bread into the canal? Who would like to help fill up this empty shopping bag with cans for the food pantry at temple?

It sounds simple, but I know that it does take some effort to make services a more meaningful experience. Think about your own synagogue experience as child. For me, I remember my parents "patting down" my brother before each service to make sure he wasn't smuggling in a toy or even food (on Yom Kippur, no less!) in his suit or in his socks. This makes me laugh now but at the time, I saw how stressful it was for my parents. I want my children to have a spiritual life of their own, a connection to G-d and their religion. And I think positive synagogue experiences are good start.

Back To School and Shul?

As the summer still beats on, the anal retentive side of me sees August in the horizon. Back to School time, hooray! Time to start getting school supply lists together and checking to see how much of last year's uniforms will make it through another year. Giddy, I read fliers for Open House events, Back to School Nights and First Day Coffee clutches. This gets me excited. A fresh slate, a new year with possibilities, for my kids and for me. So much to learn and to do. Not just for the secular learning, but for Jewish learning as well. A new year of Jewish education, learning about the holidays, traditions, values and teachings. Many parents choose a Jewish education for their children at a local synagogue or Chabad. I know of some who choose to "home-shul" their children, making everyday an enriching Jewish experience to learn from. Some enroll their children in a Jewish Day School. Kudos to all of those efforts. But, what about us, the parents? Sure, we probably went to religious school and Hebrew school ages ago, did the bar/bat Mitzvah thing. Maybe some of us were confirmed, went to a Hebrew High School or High School in Israel program or, maybe not. This has gotten me thinking, what about me? What am I learning? When do I have time to learn? Does helping my daughter with her Hebrew homework count? Is there more out their that I can learn from my religion? More that will help me in my life, as a professional, as a wife, a friend, a mom? The answer is probably a very big YES! And, this fall I am committed, not just to my children's Jewish education, but to my own. And, I challenge other moms and dads to do the same. For me, I will seek out the offerings at my spiritual home (my synagogue) and here at the Commission for Jewish Education where adult education is being revitalized. I hope to share some of what I learn with you in the months ahead. So, happy Back To School time and don't forget to put yourself on the syllabus of life.

Shavuot- A FUN holiday for Kids!

Shavuot marks the day when Moses received the Torah on Mount Sinai. It is also a nature holiday celebrating the time when farmers brought the first fruits of their harvest to the holy Temple in Jerusalem. Shavuot falls at the time of year when cream and milk are traditionally the richest. It is traditionally a milk holiday rich with creamy delights like blintzes, ice cream and sour cream cakes.

A wonderful activity to do with young children is to make your own butter. All you need is 1/2 cup heavy cream and a jar with a secure cap. Pour the cream into the jar, secure the cap and shake until the cream separates into butter and whey (the liquid). Then our off the whey. You can spread this on bagels or crackers or make your own colorful labels to put on the jar and share with family and friends.

Plan a Shavuot brunch with bagels and homemade assorted cream cheeses. You can make your own strawbwerry cream cheese, veggie cream cheese and even honey cream cheese. Or, create a unique table scape of a mound of cream cheese shaped like Mount Sinai. You can make a small figurine of Moses on top out of baby carrots, peas, etc. using tooth picks. Get creative. Shavuot is a great holiday to celebrate as a family.

"How To Talk to Your Children About G-d"- The Cliff Notes

This past Friday I joined a group of parents who came to Temple Beth Torah in Wellington to hear what Joel Grishaver (Jewish author, teacher, cartoonist and storyteller) had to teach us and discuss with us about Talking to Your Children About G-d. It was such an interesting and informative session. I really got a lot out of it and wanted to share my brief notes with you because I know you might really enjoy them and be able to use some of the language and tools he shared with us.

When discussing G-d with young children:

1. You must be comfortable talking about G-d before you can do so with your child. Not everyone sees and believes in G-d in the same way. Working on answers to your child's questions about G-d and struggling with them is better than ignoring them.

2. Remember that their questions need answers that you won't have to undo or unteach as they get older.

3. Be honest, "I don't know "and "I'm not sure" are acceptable answers sometimes.

4.Sometimes there are more possible answers to a question and you should leave room for some complexity that is opened ended. By responding, "That's the way the story goes...", you may do this and give your child something to think about.

5. You can provoke questions about G-d by using books and stories. Try this book as a collection of stories YOU can read to your young child: I Have Some Questions About G-d, available at http://www.torahaura.com.another/ good book for parents to read is: When Children Ask About G-d, by Harold Kushner

6. What we want are conversations, every story is the start of a conversation, ask your child, "What do you think it means?'

7. When dealing with kids who are a little older, you can take your conversations to a different level, with responses that include: "Some people think this, some think that, what do you choose?"

Next, Joel challenged the parents to discuss the questions that THEY are most scared of:

• One parent was scared of her child's question: "How could G-d let my "grandma" or "dog" die?". One way to address this would be to explain to the child that G-d works through people and people did the best they could.


• Another question was, "How could G-d let the Holocaust happen?". Joel responded with some useful answers to this questions. One was, "G-d did stop the Holocaust, with people, but it took longer than we wanted". Another was, " The Holocaust is really a question about people, not about G-d. Few were guilty and many were responsible."


• The next question from kids that parents were scared of was, "How do we know there is a G-d?" To this, Joel asked the parents to think about their own answer to this question. He even asked us to categorize our responses into some typical trains of thought: 1. There is no G-d. 2. We can feel G-d inside of us. 3. We can see G-d in nature. 4. We just have to believe. We discussed how we each could relate to these responses (not one is right or wrong) and use them to discuss G-d with our kids. After our discussion, Joel said that sometimes it may be helpful to describe G-d in this way to young kids (and I LOVED this one): G-d is like the WIND. You can't see the wind, you can't draw the wind, but you can see and draw what the wind (G-d) does.

Finally, we discussed that idea that if parents act as if there is a G-d by bringing G-d into your home with "Jewish Stuff" then they kids will start to get a feel for G-d. Put up a mezuzah, may be a lower hung one at child height for the kids. Acknowledge the mezuzah, touch and kiss your hand as you enter the house or room, let your kids know that this sends the message that G-d wants our house to be a place of peace and understanding.

There were so many more thoughts and ideas on this topic to discuss, but we ran out of time. I hope these notes can help you begin a dialog in your home. I plan on purchasing the above mentioned books for myself. I will let you know how I use them and what I found helpful. As always, feel free to contact me with ideas, thoughts and questions of your own about this or any other Jewish family topic.

Thinking about you and G-d,

Amy

a.bergman@cjepb.org

Sizzlin' Summer Shabbats

The recent rise in the mercury has made me think about the summer. It's approaching fast and furious. One of things I love about summer is the relaxed schedule and long days. Unfortunately, this usually means hot and sticky days as well. The rhythm of Shabbat is a little different too. Most local congregations still hold services, some maybe at earlier times or in a different venue like a chapel or library versus in the sanctuary. Sometimes the service is lead by a congregant or the Cantor (many Rabbis take time off in the summer). I like this change. It helps me and my kids remember that you can pray anywhere and with anyone. Our home Shabbat rituals vary a little too. Summer afternoons are often spent in the pool to cool off and then seem to seamlessly flow in to dinner time. In the summer on Fridays I bring the candlesticks out to the patio and the challah is put next to the barbecue Shabbat chicken. I have even gone as far as freezing the grape juice in small paper cups with a stick and having "Shabbat grape juice pops" for our outdoor summer kiddish (blessing over the wine). Summer is also the time that many families go on vacation (hopefully to somewhere a little cooler). You don't have to leave Shabbat behind. Did you know that most cruise ships hold short Shabbat services on Friday evenings? I am not joking. I have been to them. They are lovely and warm. The ships provide challah (usually delicious and 4 feet long), wine, service packets and even a person to lead the service. And most cruises leave on Friday afternoons, so this is a great way to get started on your trip and to meet other people on your cruise. This summer we are putting out a "new" Tzedakah box in which we will collect money over the course of the summer to give to specific cause. There are lots of exciting and new ways to celebrate Shabbat in the heat of the summer, all you have to do is keep your eyes open and being willing to think outside of the "Shabbat Box". Do you have any fun and different Shabbat ideas? Email them to me and I will share them: a.bergman@cjepb.org.